Dear Moneyist,
I am 22 years old and I graduated college in May 2018. I went to a private college, and was fortunate enough that my father paid my tuition costs in full. My father raised me as a single parent when my mother passed away when I was four years old.
I am currently applying to medical school and, while I find the stress of applications and the Medical College Admission Test to be overwhelming, I am finding that the potential costs of medical school are even more stressful, given that the average medical-school cost is $280,000 for four years, not including room and board.
My father has told me that, if I can make medical school, he can pay in full. However, I do not want him to pay. He has a good job, and we are middle class and live comfortably.
However, when he paid for my undergraduate degree, he was forced to take loans against his retirement plans. Now, to pay for medical school, he says he will withdraw from his IRAs and 401(k). He will be 60 in August.
I am so grateful for my father’s love and generosity, but I do not want to put this financial burden on my father. I am worried that if he pays for my tuition, he will not be able to retire comfortably.
I am currently working and making $75,000 a year, and I have been saving up more than 50% of every paycheck so that I could pay for my education. However, I am not even close to saving up for half a year of medical school yet.
My boyfriend, whom I love and can see a future with, has been trying to convince me to take my dad up on his offer. He doesn’t want “us” to have to deal with over $350,000 in debt once I graduate, but he has promised not to dump me if I do decide to take on the burden of my education myself.
Conflicted daughter
Dear Conflicted,
Apply to New York University Medical School. It’s free.
Applications surged at NYU since that policy was introduced, so if you don’t get in, here’s my advice.
It’s also free.
Your father has been of great help to you already. He should be able to retire in five years and live comfortably. If he withdraws money from his IRAs and 401(k) and he lives another 10 or 20 years that could put pressure on both of you, and ultimately rob him of his peace of mind. The time has come for you to strike out on your own, and figure out a way to handle this medical-school debt. Your father has already paid your previous tuition costs, so you’re already ahead of the game.
Your boyfriend’s response also seems concerning. He has promised not to dump you for following your dreams? Oh, boy. If he is looking for the Boyfriend of the Year Award, he’s not going to win it with an attitude like that. If he were pursuing a career as an engineer or doctor or lawyer, and you told him, “I’m not going to break up with you if you don’t get help from your parents, but I’d prefer that you do,” I can’t see him thinking, ‘This is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.’
Also see: I built a nest egg of $1 million and I’m only 46 — so why do I still spend my waking hours worrying?
Medical school is expensive. Approximately 76% of doctors graduate with medical-school debt and the median balance was $192,000 in 2018, according to the Association of American Medical Colleges. To put that in context: That compares to around $4,269 for social workers. The cost will inevitably encourage medical students to choose higher paying roles when they have to choose a specialty and may partly explain the fall in the number of primary physicians.
Recommended: I’ve taken care of an 85-year-old man for two years — he attempted suicide and now wants to leave me his home
But there are options. In order to help tackle the opioid epidemic that has destroyed so many communities, the National Health Service Corps, a government program that supports health-care providers working in under-served communities, will repay up to $75,000 in student debt for health-care workers combating substance-abuse disorders in under-served communities. You can sign up here for future years’ applications.
As a member of the Moneyist Facebook Group FB, -0.77% pointed out, the American Academy for Family Physicians outlines a range of loan-forgiveness programs. “Typically, after completing a residency, physicians who enter these programs are recruited to practice in designated health professional shortage areas. Benefits vary, but on average, participants provide service for two to four years in exchange for living stipends and repayment of educational loans.”
You have options. Don’t allow your dad to plunder his retirement savings. You and he may live to regret that.
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